Restoring Balance

Restorative practices

Introduction

Abuse can cause imbalance for you and your family. Restorative actions, practices, and strategies help you heal emotionally, mentally, and physically as well as strengthen your ability to bounce back from difficulties. This is known as “resilience.” You may find that a holistic approach to healing, which treats your whole body, mind, and spirit can help you increase your resilience and heal from trauma. Whether you seek mainstream therapies, cultural traditional healing, or a blend of both, remember that your path to recovery is your choice.

On this page, you will find information about actions you can take to begin restoring balance to the lives of you and your family.

Culture

Trauma can take away our sense of self-worth and identity and erode our connection to our family and tribal community. When we disconnect from our culture we can further damage our health by engaging in unhealthy habits to fill the void. Culture connectivity helps Native people heal and protects us from risks. Attending ceremonies, learning Native languages, engaging in traditional practices and arts, passing on cultural knowledge and visiting with elders are some of our time-tested ways of strengthening and reclaiming ourselves.

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Food & water

Trauma can have a negative impact on eating habits and, in some cases, lead to eating disorders. The nervous system that regulates the gut is often called the body’s “second brain,” (Harvard Medical School, Winter 2017) for its ability to send constant communications between the digestive system and the brain. When the brain experiences trauma, it talks to the digestive system. Stress, anxiety, or emotional upset accompanied by nausea, abdominal pain, diarrhea, “butterflies,” or loss of appetite is an example of your brain sending messages to your digestive system. The gut also sends messages back to the brain. If you eat something that makes you sick, you may instinctively avoid the food or the place where you found it. If you pay attention, your brain-gut connection can be a good indicator that something is out of balance.

Traumatic physical or emotional experiences can cause you to lose your appetite or turn to food as a coping strategy. Stress increases glucose in the bloodstream, and causes you to crave foods that are high in sugar and fat. Domestic violence has been linked to an increase in obesity for victims as well children who witness the violence in their homes.

Abusers may also weaponize food against their victims by depriving them of food or shaming their victim’s eating habits and body weight. Whether food is used as a weapon or coping strategy, a victim may develop eating disorders as a result. Eating disorders have been linked to diabetes, heart disease, stroke, and other serious health problems.

Restoring balance to your diet can help your body withstand the stress of a traumatic event and have a shorter recovery from trauma. Ways to do this include:

• Maintain a healthy diet containing high fiber, vegetables, fruits (use caution if you are diabetic), and fish. Avoid sugar, saturated fat, and salt.

• Maintain healthy habits. Exercise regularly, try to achieve a healthy weight, get plenty of healthy fluids, and and do not skip breakfast.

• Incorporate traditional foods, if possible. Food and culture are so interwoven that the rituals of gathering, preparing, serving, and sharing foods are methods of transmitting culture. “First foods” and traditional foods can help you strengthen your cultural connection. Often these foods have significant stories associated with them. With this knowledge, eating traditional foods can heal your spirit because you will recall the stories, how you learned to prepare the food, and the relatives or community events associated with them.

• Consider reducing the amount of sugar you eat. Detoxing from sugar may cause short term effects including depression, anxiety, sleep disruption, concentration difficulties, cravings, nausea, fatigue, or dizziness so consult your physician before you do this. If you decide to reduce your sugar intake, you can use a journal to record your symptoms, cravings, and the food you eat. This will help you track your progress.

• Replace caffeinated and sugary drinks with water. Every cell, tissue, and organ in your body needs water to survive. Water helps you get rid of wastes, regulates your temperature, lubricates and cushions your joints, and protects your tissues. When you do not get enough water, your energy level is lower and you feel tired. The advice to drink 8 glasses of water every day is a good estimate. You may need more or less depending on exercise, environment, and overall health.

• Meditation, yoga, talk therapy, hypnosis, and biofeedback are approaches that can help relieve symptoms of IBS and inflammatory bowel disease.

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Education & career

Developing a career goal and starting, continuing, or completing your college education can help you move from victimization to survival. Education increases your ability to care for your family and community as well as yourself.

In the United States there are 32 Tribal colleges and universities, offering over 350 educational programs, and many degree-granting state and private colleges that offer programs and courses taught by Native professors. Professors can also be wonderful mentors who can help you find direction in your career. Start your search with the links below.

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Exercise

Exercise is proven to elevate people’s moods and help combat chronic diseases. Running, dancing, singing and traditional games along with modern sports offer ways to lift our spirits and heart rates to help counter some of the emotional, spiritual and mental impacts of a crime. Even a short walk everyday can help ease stress. View short videos from tribes that participate in Instant Recess and incorporate Native traditions into short exercises along with stories from their communities.

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Finances

Sometimes abusers make their victims financially dependent by withholding cash, credit cards, or bank account access; forcing the victim to turn over paychecks; forcing the victim to run up debt in order to ruin their credit; or keeping the victim in the dark about financial matters. This can be the case even if the victim was financially independent prior to the abusive relationship. Shame and fear of disgrace may making some victims hesitant to address the financial problems caused by their abusers. This can make financial problems even more difficult.

There are several steps you can take to improve your financial situation, even if it seems hopeless. Credit counseling can help you learn how to manage credit and sometimes you can get help negotiating past due balances with creditors. Financial management skills can help you learn to budget and save, and it is never too late to learn these skills. Locally, your tribe or public library may offer no-cost courses or resources. Online courses, financial coaching, and self-help options are also available. The links below are starting points.

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Sleep

Sleep enables the brain to physically detox, improve mental health, and process traumatic experiences. Yet often, sleep issues are often associated with trauma.

The Sleep Foundation reports that stress-related alertness and hyperarousal can cause difficulty with the overall quality of sleep, falling asleep, sleeping through the night, falling back asleep, and waking up. Trauma survivors commonly experience distressing dreams and nightmares, which may be the mind’s attempt to make sense of the traumatic experience. Although sleep disruptions can be upsetting, sleeping can reduce the quantity and intensity of intrusive, trauma-related memories. Getting early treatment for sleep related issues can reduce your risk of developing post-traumatic stress disorder.

If a traumatic experience is negatively affecting your quantity and quality of sleep, consider seeking out a doctor, psychologist, or counselor to help you manage your sleep issues.

Some tips for managing your sleep during the healing process include:

• Try to return to your usual sleep schedule by going to sleep and getting up at the same time every day, even on weekends.

• Take necessary actions to feel safe in your sleep environment. This might include having someone you trust sleep at your home for awhile, keeping a phone by your bed, keeping a light or nightlight on, installing a security system, or any other measures to increase your ability to create a calm environment.

• Refrain from using computers and cell phones for at least two hours before your bedtime. Computer screens (“self-luminous backlit displays”) can cause melatonin levels to drop and confuses your brain into thinking it is time to wake up.

• Calm your body and mind before bed by performing relaxation exercises, meditating, or drinking herbal tea that contributes to relaxation. Some ways you can create a calming sleep environment is by listening to soft music or using aromatherapy.

• If you cannot sleep after about 20 minutes, consider getting out of bed and doing something relaxing. Reading, a warm bath, or drawing can help your mind relax and help you feel tired. Avoid computer, cellular devices, and television during this time.

Safety

Having a plan in place to keep yourself and your family safe after a crime (or in cases of domestic violence, to prevent violence) is a proactive way to take back control of your life. Getting an advocate to assist you with creating and updating your safety plan can keep you in touch with your advocate and the people you include in your plan.

Safety plans provide many benefits. First, safety plans help you think through small details that may make the difference between being safe or being at the mercy of your abuser. Second, a safety plan can help you identify where you are vulnerable, and find ways to reduce your vulnerability. Third, a typical safety plan will help you identify who you trust to help you during an emergency. Including these people in your trusted support network will encourage you to remain in touch with them. Safety plans provide many other benefits. You can find fillable and printable plans in the Safety Plans section of this App.

Counseling

Having a plan in place to keep yourself and your family safe after a crime (or in cases of domestic violence, to prevent violence) is a proactive way to take back control of your life. Getting an advocate to assist you with creating and updating your safety plan can keep you in touch with your advocate and the people you include in your plan.

Safety plans provide many benefits. First, safety plans help you think through small details that may make the difference between being safe or being at the mercy of your abuser. Second, a safety plan can help you identify where you are vulnerable, and find ways to reduce your vulnerability. Third, a typical safety plan will help you identify who you trust to help you during an emergency. Including these people in your trusted support network will encourage you to remain in touch with them. Safety plans provide many other benefits. You can find fillable and printable plans in the Safety Plans section of this App.

Journaling

Writing and/or drawing your thoughts and feelings in a journal can help you express fears, concerns, plans or hopes that you do not want to share with others. Creating a picture diary or recording your thoughts and feelings are other forms of journaling. If you live with your abuser, you should consider whether it is safe for you to do this.

Storytelling

Stories contain cultural knowledge and help us to know how to live in good relationships with others and world around us. Stories can also provide insight into complex emotions and relationship dynamics. When you have the opportunity, try to ask people in your community about the stories they know. Elders are a good source of knowledge and wisdom. Those who have traditional knowledge often have stories to share that can provide inspiration, motivation, and guidance.

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Meditation & nature

Natural places can be sources of comfort and restoration, and even more so when your stories, culture, language, or positive experiences are connected to specific places. You may find that sitting quietly in the beauty of these places eases your spirit. If you are unable to access natural areas or special places, try visualizing them in your mind or using photographs to connect with nature.

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Sobriety & recovery

Sometimes people who have experienced trauma and abuse turn to alcohol, drugs, overeating, gambling, gaming, risky sexual behavior, and other addictions to numb their feelings or block out negative memories. In some cases, an abuser may use addictions as a form of control.

Alcohol and drugs can numb the part of the brain that regulates behavior, which makes it easier to violate the emotional, mental, and physical boundaries of a partner. Gaining sobriety enables a person to think clearly and act with

Addiction is a disease that changes your body’s chemistry, emotions, and your brain’s functions. These factors make quitting an addiction difficult. Depending on the addiction, you may experience physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms including nausea, shaking, headaches, sweating, insomnia, anxiety, depression, social isolation, hallucinations, seizures, and many other symptoms. Situations can also trigger or pressure you to crave your addiction. It is not always possible to avoid triggers and pressure, but you can begin building a strong support network to help you when you are feeling weak.

In-patient or out-patient treatment programs can help establish the habits and support systems you need for long-term recovery. To help you maintain your sobriety you can surround yourself with sober friends and family and participate in 12-step groups, talking circles, and ceremonies. If you are in recovery, consider including relapse prevention in your safety plan.

Healthy self-talk

Self-talk refers to what you might consider your inner voice, through which your thoughts flow all day long. Your conscious thoughts and unconscious beliefs and biases combine into an internal chatter that mingles both supportive thoughts that increase your confidence and harmful thoughts that can be unrealistic and harmful. Some sources claim that self-talk can range between 300 and 1000 words per minute. If this is true, the positive or negative “tone” of your self-talk can have a significant impact on how you respond to stressful situations and can influence how rapidly you recover from trauma. Negative self-talk can undermine your confidence and create a negative self-image.

You can restore balance to your life by changing the tone of your internal dialog. Pay attention to your thought stream. If you find yourself stuck in negative internal dialog you can begin to increase your positive self-talk in the following ways:

• Identify the situations that cause your negative self-talk

• Find something that makes you laugh

• Associate with people who lift your spirits

• Finding pictures of the things that make you happy and posting them around your home or work environment

• Repeat positive messages to yourself if you need to interrupt negative self-talk

Learning phrases in your native language is one example of changing negative self-talk while reinforcing your cultural identity and strengthening your connection to your community. You can interrupt negative self-talk by repeating these phrases to yourself. Eventually they will become part of your internal flow of consciousness. Contact your Tribe’s language revitalization program to learn which resources are available to you.

To change the flow of your internal dialog, you can start with one or more of the following affirmations

• I am strong

• I can make good choices for my life

• I am worthy of respect

• I am worthy of love

• I have goodness to give my family and community

• I can ask for support

• I can live life in a good way

• My life is inexplicably beautiful, sacred, and unique.

• I am the love of my ancestors.

• I can accomplish anything I choose.

• I honor my body with rest and nourishment.

• Grief is a natural and healthy process that helps me recover from loss.

• Love is all around me: In people, plants, animals, running waters, air, sky, stars, and so much more.

• I am connected and related to everything around me.

• The strength of all my ancestors is in me.

• I have the power to make it through today.

• I can find grounding through my community and culture.

• I am beautiful from the inside out.

• I can use my heart, mind, and all senses, to connect with the world around me.

Wellness ideas

For victims & survivors

• Connect with elders in your family or community

• Connect with a traditional dance leader

• Learn about the lives of your ancestors

• Learn about traditional healing practices, medicines, or foods

• Learn more about the culture, values, and beliefs of your tribe and your ancestors

• Learn how to prepare meals from traditional foods

• Listen to and learn your tribe’s important creation stories

• Learn the art of storytelling from someone whose stories you appreciate

• Enroll in a language class sponsored by your tribe

• Enroll in an educational course at a local college, the public library, or online

• Learn the art of basketweaving and join a basketweaver’s group

• Get outside so that you can feel the sun, wind, and rain

• If you have access to a natural area, take a friend with you and spend some time listening to the sounds of nature

• Go gathering, foraging, or fishing with a group

• Attend or participate in your tribe’s ceremonies

• Attend cultural event or community gathering

• Consider volunteering with your tribe or a nonprofit that you admire

• If you are feeling down, call a hotline or helpline to receive immediate support

• Meditate. Practice being present

• Practice repeating or writing positive affirmations

• Sing, dance, or play your favorite instrument. If you are not musically inclined, ask someone to teach you or consider enrolling in a few classes 

• Add an entry to your journal

• Take a few minutes to draw

• Take a class on managing your finances, credit, or budgeting

• If you are inclined to start your own business, look for business-related classes offered by the North Coast Small Business Development Center

• Take a self-defense class

• Create a special space in your home that honors you. This can be your dresser, a shelf, a space on the windowsill, or any other place will remind you that you occupy a special place in the world

• Practice small stretching exercises throughout the day

• Practice reciprocity. When someone gives you their time, energy, or care, give them something in return to maintain a healthy, balanced relationship

• Find out about community wellness activities offered by United Indian Health Services

For advocates

Restoring mental balance

• Start a compliments file. Document the great things people say about you to read later

• Scratch off a lurker on your to-do list: something that’s been there for ages that you haven’t done

• Change the way you make decisions. Decide something with your heart if you usually use your head. Or if you tend to go with your heart, decide with your head

• Go cloud-watching. Lie on your back, relax, and watch the sky

• Take another route to work. Mixing up your routine in small ways creates new neural pathways in the brain to keep it healthy

• Pay complete attention to something you usually do on autopilot: brushing your teeth, driving, eating, or performing your morning routine

• Goof around for a bit. Schedule five minutes of “play” (non-directed activity) several times throughout your day 

• Create a deliberate habit, and make a routine of something small in your life by doing it in the same way each day, such as, what you wear on Tuesdays, or flossing before you brush

• Fix a small annoyance at home that’s been nagging you: A lost button, a stuck drawer, a burned out light bulb

• Punctuate your day with a mini-meditation. Try one minute to be aware of your thoughts, feelings, and sensations; one minute to focus on breathing; and one minute to be aware of your body as a whole

• Be selfish. Do one thing today just because it makes you happy

• Do a mini-declutter. Recycle three things from your wardrobe that you don’t love or regularly wear

• Unplug for an hour. Switch your devices to airplane mode to free yourself from the constant pings of social media and email

• Get out of your comfort zone, even if you just chat with someone at the bus stop

• Edit your social media feeds, and remove any negative people. You can just “mute” them; you don’t have to delete them

Restoring physical balance

• Give your body ten minutes of mindful attention. Use the body scan technique to check in with each part of your body

• Oxygenate by taking three deep breaths. Breathe into your abdomen, and let the air puff out your stomach and chest

• Get down and boogie. Put on your favorite upbeat record and shake your booty

• Stretch out the kinks. If you’re at work, you can always head to the bathroom to avoid curious glances

• Run or walk (depending on your current physical health) for a few minutes. Or go up and down the stairs three times

• Narrow your food choices. Pick two healthy breakfasts, lunches, and dinners and rotate for the week

• Activate your self-soothing system. Stroke your own arm, or if that feels too weird, moisturize

• Get to know yourself intimately. Look lovingly and without judgment at your naked body. (Use a mirror to make sure you get to know all of you!)

• Make one small change to your diet for the week. Drink an extra glass of water each day, or have an extra portion of veggies each meal

• Give your body a treat. Pick something from your wardrobe that feels great next to your skin

• Be still. Sit somewhere green, and be quiet for a few minutes

• Get fifteen minutes of sun, especially if you’re in a cold climate. (Use sunscreen if appropriate)

• Inhale an upbeat scent. Try peppermint to suppress food cravings and boost mood and motivation

• Have a good laugh. Read a couple of comic strips that you enjoy

• Take a quick nap. Ten to twenty minutes can reduce your sleep debt and leave you ready for action

Restoring spiritual balance

• Imagine that you are your best friend. If you were, what would you tell yourself right now? Look in the mirror and say it

• Use your commute for a “Beauty Scavenger Hunt.” Find five unexpected beautiful things on your way to work

• Help someone. Carry a bag, open a door, or pick up an extra carton of milk for a neighbor

• Check in with your emotions. Sit quietly and just name what you are feeling without judging them

• Write out your thoughts for fifteen minutes on anything that is bothering you. Then let it go as you burn or bin the paper

• Choose who you spend your time with today. Hang out with “radiators” who emit enthusiasm and positivity. Avoid “Drains” whose pessimism and negativity robs energy

• Stroke a pet. If you don’t have one, go to the park and find one. (Ask first!)

• Get positive feedback. Ask three good friends to tell you what they love about you

• Make a small connection. Have a few sentences of conversation with someone in customer service such as a sales assistant

• Have a self-date. Spend an hour alone doing something that nourishes you (reading, your hobby, visiting a museum or gallery, etc.)

• Exercise a signature strength. Think about what you are good at doing, and find an opportunity to use your strength today

• Take a home spa. Have a long bath or shower, sit around in your bathrobe, and read magazines

• Ask for help, big or small, but reach out

Source: EllenBard.com

The Weaving Wellness: Connecting the Humanities and Healing Project has been made possible in part by a grant from the National Endowment for the Humanities: Sustaining Humanities through the American Rescue Plan in partnership with the Association of Tribal Archives, Libraries, and Museums.

Any views, findings, conclusions, or recommendations expressed in this Weaving Wellness: Connecting the Humanities and Healing Project do not necessarily represent those of the Association of Tribal Archives, Libraries, and Museums or the National Endowment for the Humanities.